My room smells like vodka and shame
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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