My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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