You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
