I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
