It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
