Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
