I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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