so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
