i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I want to fling myself into the sun
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
