It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
