Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
