I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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