another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
