on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
