What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize