so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
