it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
