Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
