Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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