I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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