got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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