i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My ATM looks so different sober.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
