Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Found the puke drawer
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
