quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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