Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
