hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i think im in europe. pls send help
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