I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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