My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
