Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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