First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
