Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
