How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
3pm strippers are depressing
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
