how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
