4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
