i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
