If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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