I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
