I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
