She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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