I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
