Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
