the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
