It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
