dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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