Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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