I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
