lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
