Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i think my mom watched the whole time
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
