I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
