It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
