i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
